Townies

I couldn't stay away. Things I heard in two hours of a neighborhood Fourth of July barbecue:

"I have no use for Martha's Vineyard or Provincetown." They are both seaside towns heavily visited in the summertime. Provincetown is also home to one of New England's larger gay communities. My wife thinks the guy threw in Martha's Vineyard because it has the name "Martha" in it.

"Those Japs are hilarious."

"That black guy, Jackie Robinson." This was during a conversation about retired Red Sox numbers.

A story about someone's friend's frightening anal sex experience in Montreal with a woman from Greece.

"He's got an Irish head." A woman after looking at my son. When my wife mentioned that we weren't Irish, she says "OK, Italian then (because everyone knows that the stereotypes for Irish and Italians is that they look exactly alike)".My wife says that we're not Italian either, and she responds with, "Well, those are the only people I know."

"All they want to do is smoke cigarettes. They walk around with straws, pretending to be smoking." A woman with two daughters clutching to her thighs, and a pack of cigarettes in her hand.


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